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Finally. Paper model kit Thundremoar is out! It’s my biggest (and admittedly second) paper project so far and I am very happy with it. Let’s take a look.
What’s different from the last project is that this is a glue kit and that it is bigger and more elaborate. Not just the more detailed figure figure itself, but everything around it too. All of this comes from a number of inspirations. The origin was the idea to make a Thundercats Thunder Tank with PS1 era low poly shapes. From there the red line was 90s colourful and loud toy aesthetics. It’s a full mix but I like to believe it works. The instruction booklet is packed with lore that expands the Mutant Gangland world
When designing the package I got the chance to let go of restraints and dive into the xtreme 90s. Here ‘too much’ and ‘too loud’ are a virtue. It was an outlet for my nostalgia. Young me always stood in toy stores gazing at toy boxes. I soaked up a lot of imagery and it’s all coming out. The art had to be done by someone who was very good at tanks and robots and that dude was Ksen. At first I was anxious for the result because I have difficulty letting go of control but the result blew my socks off.
The early decision to make the toy twice as large as originally intended paid off. It’s hard to communicate how huge (the size of a hand?) it is but it just feels powerful. I think people will be surprised by that.
All pre-orders have been shipped and I’m curious about the reception. Of the two versions pink seems to be the favourite by around 70%. These are my babies so I will obviously say I love them both equally but yes pink is my favorite.
Price slashing code “THUNDRELESS’ still counts and you can get Thundremoar here.
There we were. At the dawn of 2016. A fresh and new year full of promise and opportunity. The resolution was to make multiple papercraft robot figures. Let’s see what happened.
(the text below is from my semi-monthly newsletter. If you like to receive the newsletter you can sign up here)
On the to-do list were Some Munchybots and a wicked Mutant Gangland robot. One that would require no glue or scissors to assemble. I was gonna be very hard on that because I discovered I hate cutting and glueing. There is a workshop near my place that lets people make use of their laser cutter. I thought that might be way to create papercraft sets. So the year began.
In the first weeks I started building. This is where we arrive at my first mistake. Signal was too big and too complex. Too much so to test a new technique (laser cutting and glueless folding) on. after doing the pixel art textures and adding cut lines in Illustrator I printed it and took it to the workshop to have it cut. Things went wrong with the proportions and the cutlines. They were either too big or too small. I went back home, Changed the design, printed and cut again. Wrong again. and again and again. At one point I managed to make a nice robot that fell apart when you touched it and that’s where I aso kinda fell apart. There was just too much to re-do every time.
There had to be a smaller design to test. Enter Piz-O, The first papercraft robot I did the year before. It had to be redesigned a bit to adhere to my ideal of working only with cube shapes. This model also got an outline because I thought it looked so cool on Signal. Early prototypes were flimsy but I liked them and at one point was so proud that I could not see one glaring fault. More on that later. (I know this paragraph is short but the period between the picture above and below is two months of work)
Working with the laser cutter was a lot of fun but it was not cool to work on borrowed time. There was always this clock looming over my shoulder. The process also left burn marks on the paper so every prototype smelt like fire. Which was nice but you could actually see the scorch marks. It was time to find a solution. Maybe a machine that could do the same thing but with a knife. Does that even exist? It does.
The Silhouette Cameo is a consumer grade knife plotter. During earlier researching I heard about it but what exactly could it do? I asked some friends who owned one and they were very helpful. And yes: It could do exactly what I wanted it to do. Hearing this was a very happy moment. There was one problem though. It cost around 300 Euros. Was I gonna buy a machine again for one of my new hobbies? I dived into things before. At the back of my basement there are boxes full of stuff for things I used to do. painting, music, sculpting. Was this just one more of those personal fads? To be honest I still don’t know but hey I promised the internet (and myself) I was gonna make toys. My last Penarium earnings came in at just the right time and I spent it right away on my debts and the machine.
If I had to describe the prototype phase I’d say it was terrible. I rolled out robot after robot to see what I needed to improve in order to make a good product. Turns out that list was pretty long. Not only that: I had to learn how to work with a completely new machine. You enter a sheet of paper (that’s glued to another sheet of plastic functioning as the bed) and then press a button to have it cut on the paper where you told it to via a vector file. Every time I went through this process I was fingers crossed. Even when you put in a design that’s good there’s still tons of things that can go wrong with cutting out the thing, With the bed, With the blade, With the placement. I made all the mistakes there were to make and wasted a lot of sheet by making mistakes. So much that sometimes I just wanted to throw my computer and cutter out of the window and live in a cave.
This phase was the longest of all. It was a struggle but it did exactly what it had to do: Bring to light design changes for improvement. It was this phase where I started to feel more like an engineer than an artist. All of the technical difficulties on both the design and the production process were beaten by just looking at what went wrong, fixing it and testing it all over again. And then I saw that hey, The outline on this robot looks really crappy and the way the seams are cut are crappy too. No idea why it took me that long to figure out but the backlines were removed again.
The best improvement came in the form of a technique I stumbled on while googling the problems with my machine: The kiss-cut, A way of telling the machine to not cut a line straight away but rather every once in a few millimetres gently. The result is that you can bend the paper more easily and it gives a white edge of torn paper fabric. This is wonderful! It’s almost like an outline on itself. At this point I stopped printing the texture on paper and prototyped on blank sheets instead. It was cheaper that way. A few weeks later I rolled out the first prototype that made me happy. It was amazing. Nothing fell off. It could stand up straight. Nothing rambled when I shook it. Amazing! The feeling of relief was amazing and I ordered a pizza to celebrate.
Then I refined and got some ideas like the addition of his scooter and a spare pizza box. All of these of course brought complications with them. I make it sounds like making this robot was one big struggle. Even though it’s true that I was sometimes frustrated and wanted to give up I feel extremely fortunate to have had the opportunity to work on my dreams. I just tried to fix problems as I came across them and started over again. Same with the package and the instruction manual. Truth be told it’s a bit harder to get right when you are as sloppy as I am but at one point I got a Piz-O set and a package and manual I was content with to sell.
Except it was not the end of the ride. Putting it up on Etsy was exciting but when people actually bought the thing the pressure rose. To be honest I did not expect people to actually buy these. There was a batch of sheets ready to be cut but the idea of people having paid you and waiting on you to deliver to them was..whoa. That was new. And that’s where I am today. Having sold and shipped some units my room is restructured for easy producing and packaging. On top of that I set up a system to handle and print all the addresses of people who order. It was a bit of a surprise I could be this organised. The current challenges are finding new ways to reach potential buyers and the fact that my Cameo seems to have broken down. It’s a bit worrying and I am not sure how to solve it.
Somehow we are 12 months into the ‘new’ year. That plan of making many things was not fully completed but I feel good. Somewhere in between I worked on logo designs, a custom Google Cardboard set along with a spherical view and a wicked trailer for Chrome Death (directed by Elise The).
So what’s the resolution for next year? One more Munchybot and a new Signal. That one really deserves a good figure. Having some experience should help the process go faster next time right? Right? There’s also a lot of time reserved for making games. One in particular. My friend Michael Short approached me a while ago with a irresistible premise. All we can say for now is that it’s gonna be homage to G.I. Joe and it’s gonna be fun. Then there is Demolition. It’s in the fridge at the moment but it’s banging on the fridge door. Oh wait I promised myself I’d learn 3D. That did not happen much but it’s still the plan.
But things rarely go to plan. Let’s hope we can have a nice new year. See you around.
At the end of 2015, Out of pure curiosity, I started making papercraft figures inspired on my work as a pixel artist for various videogames. I knew next to nothing about papercraft but I knew how to fold paper in the shape of a box and how to glue one box to another. These boxy shapes seemed like a perfect fit for something I have always loved making: Robots. They looked nice but there was just one problem: I hated making papercraft.
All that cutting. All that glueing. Although designing and seeing the end result was great everything was just too much work. Especially if you have only one hand like me. Being fascinated with toys and toy stores the idea was to one day put these little robots in stores for people to buy. These robots needed to be simple to assemble and so I started researching and prototyping techniques for a papercraft set that would not require any glue or scissor to assemble. It was funny of me to think that would be simple. 12 months later it’s finally here: Papercraft Pizza Robot Piz-O.
Piz-O is the first figure in the Munchybot line. Easy to build paper robots that fit on your desk. No glue or scissors needed. More robots will come in the future. You can be on the lookout for more paper figures. Some of them tied to games. If you have a game that needs papercraft toys; I’ll be here.
But that is the future. Piz-O is available now.
One of this year’s plans is to design and assemble 7 Munchybots. A series of papercraft robot street vendors. This might be the first time you hear the name ‘Munchybots’. I made it up. (Warning: The following has been read a week ago by friends who get my newsletter. If you want to be informed you can subscribe too )
I’ve been struggling for a while to come up with a proper name for these robots but I felt it was important to get that settled first. After all, My long term plan is to eventually put these on the market. Munchybots seemed like a good mix between explanatory,curious and cute. It also sums up two of my hobbies: Robots and having the munchies.
The Pizza model (Piz-O) was done last year. When I finished that project I was convinced this was something I would want to do more and get better at. Most importantly: I was finally making toys! After that I set out o design a noodle shop. This after watching Blade Runner again. Coincidentally there was also a robot serving a bar in Fallout 4, which I played a lot in December. Witch Piz-O the idea was born that every Munchybot had a food feature that would be impossible for humans to do. Piz-O served pizzas it baked in its own belly. Nood-O’s gimmick was that he literally was the bar. He didn’t serve at the bar. He was the bar. That’s not clearly visible but I also like that about it. My favourite feature is the inside cupboard.
I started working on a new design right after Nood-O. All of these robots are prototypes and with each model I try a new concept. Why do I prototype? To figure out what works best for me and eventually for future consumers. Each model answers old questions and brings up new ones. The idea behind this one was to make a robot that was simpler to assemble than its predecessors. Nood-O is my personal favourite but it was also hell to assemble with parts spread across 6 sheets of A3 paper. The self imposed limit was to design a model with as little cubes as possible.
Am I happy with the result? Ehhh…Something about this model is missing. The idea of robot twins being both the vendor and the stand is cute but overall there is not much to look at and it’s lacking details like Piz-O’s rat friend and Nood-O inside cupboard. These seem like tiny details but it’s a sign of depleted creative energy. It was not for nothing though, Gelat-O is the tallest in the line and that gave me some thoughts about practicality. The designing part was fun but during cutting out the paper and the assembly something bad happened: I got bored. I’m not sure what was the cause. It might be that I just don’t like cutting and folding. I’m looking for ways to simplify that process. More about that later. Another cause might be that I just ran out of creative juice. It didn’t feel right making one so quick after the other. I’m always aware of being on autopilot. In art and design that can be a bad thing. As much as I liked the result. There’s not gonna be a new Munchybot for a while.
The way I see it there are two places people can come across these robots: The internet and physical stores. I think the factors than can lead to a purchase vary somewhat per venue. Lately I’m pondering about what might move people to a purchase in a physical store.There are many factors in a store I cannot control. The only thing I can control is the package. So: What’s going to be on the package? What will we tell the person holding this object? I am new at this but from my point of view I’d like to know if this object was able to fit on the last sacred personal place a modern adult has in their life which is their desk (assuming people even have a desk). The larger a toy is the less places you’ll be able to fit it. So the size is a factor. All the current Munchybots are too big for that. I somehow have to come up with smaller designs.
On the other hand: Who are we designing this toy for? Is it for adults like me or is it for another group? It’s good to ponder that. About that cutting. Lots of work! I’ve been scouting around for ways to skip manual cutting. There are machines that read vector files and cut custom shapes out of any paper you feed them. These things are also around $200. Let’s just bite the apple and keep manually cutting for a while until I figured out papercraft. But that’s for personal use. Most important right now is to come up with a technique that does not require cutting or glueing on the side of the consumer.
There are still so many things to address before Munchybots can go up for sale. As a side-hobby from my hobby I’m putting together a new papercraft robot. It’s not a Munchybot, It’s Signal from Mutant Gangland. That’s a place I made up from I game I worked on. A wasteland future roamed by mutants and robots. The figure has more emphasis on pixel art texture and I’m also trying black outline. Much like you see in the Borderland games. It will be hell to cut again but I’m curious to see how that outline will turn out.
Concluding: I haven’t felt this productive in years but there is also caution. I know myself and I’ve dived headfirst into short-lived hobbies before. Here’s hoping maybe this time I will pull through and deliver. If you want to know how that will go then may I suggest getting into my newsletter?
Releasing Penarium was as far as I planned 2015. Well. That happened and a whole lot more. Here’s what went down this year and what is going to change in 2016. The biggest one being a major shift in focus as an artist.
First off. I beat Game Developers Conference this year. I say that because the one the year before was not a good trip for me at all. First time in San Francisco, First time at a big convention, First time I had a game to hustle. After that trip I wrote down everything that bugged me and learned from it. GDC 2015 was bliss. Mostly because I stopped giving a crap. I became free and I could start being myself. I visited Japantown which has a papercraft store. Everywhere around me were magnificent sculptures of origami and other techniques. What caught me were little robots made from folded straws, which were called Piperoids. It fascinated me that you could make figures out of paper.
A few months later we finished and released Penarium. What a relief. Finally a game I can tell my family about. “What do I do?” I make games. Just look at your Playstation uncle Benny. Yes it’s done. It’s finally done. The game’s on there. Despite its somewhat low sales I am proud about the fact I worked in a team and we finished a game. I still can’t live off games but we made a game the way we wanted to. Many reviews were positive, some of them were negative but we delivered. Now what?
A friend of mine asked me “What do you ultimately want to achieve as a game maker?” I never heard that question before. Not even from myself. I was caught surprised but I was even more surprised by how fast I came up with a focused answer: To make a game and a world of which people will say “That’s his game”. That’s the next step after Penarium and it’s a battle I’ve been fighting for years. The closest I got to it was Mutant Gangland.
This is the year me and Zapa stopped development on Mutant Gangland, A turn-based strategy game that looks like a mix between Advance Wars and Ninja Turtles. Last year we put it in early access and sold a few copies. It became a game where I could unload my love for wacky action figures and comics. Mostly those of Toxic Crusaders and Ninja Turtles. Then Zapa got busy. Actually, He got a day job. Without a programmer the game was dead in the water. A shame because I grew attached to the wasteland world I created. I closed the door on yet another game. This happened to me too often.
Months later I read a Turtles comic and was reminded by how full of juvenile energy it is. I wanted to recreate that energy so I contacted Zapa. After a good talk he gave me the freedom to whatever I wanted with Mutant Gangland. It was now 100% mine. It just wasn’t done yet. far from it. But the door was open again.
I want to release Mutant Gangland one day. Release that game with my world in it. Give the people what they paid for. It bugs me every day that I have not yet delivered but it will be done. The real question is what kind of game it will be. After talking to some developers I discovered I simply did not have the funds to make a complete turn based strategy game. However; With the world I created I wouldn’t have to. It could be whatever as long as it’s a good vehicle for cool looking characters and a compelling setting. And the visual style? I’m strongly pondering that subject. Right now Mutant Gangland is pure pixel art and I’m tired and wary of using pixel art.
Years ago during a internship at a mobile games company I started doing pixel art and I’ve been using it ever since. What appealed to me about it was its satisfying learning curve. Once I understood the rules it was even more fun to do. I did several pixel art projects over the years while growing slowly. This to a point I wouldn’t even question the use of it. That autopilot is a bad situation.
There’s been some talk among the Penarium team about wether a non-pixel art 2D style might have helped the game’s reception. There’s no way of telling. Two of this year’s most critically acclaimed games are made of pixelart but I can’t help wondering if Penarium’s style made people put it in a certain corner. You could argue that pixel art is a medium but that’s unfortunate when many consider it a style. It’s associated with retro gaming and deliberate ‘indie’-ness. Maybe people saw Penarium as indie retro platformer nr 3453. Because Mutant Gangland was inspired on the style of Advance Wars. That style started to direct Mutant Gangland’s themes and story. I think it should be the other way around.
But all of that won’t matter if I can’t find a developer. I’ll always need someone to realise that goal of making The Thomas Game. During its development I was curious to see how some of the characters would look as a toy. Something to have on my desk. I contacted several 3D artists with a design I made. Asking if they could make it in 3D. None of them delivered. It was frustrating to need somebody to realise my ideas again. Something had to change. (hint: it was me. I had to change)
Late 2015 I played around with program called Crocotile which lets you place pixel art tiles in a 3D environment. This seemed like the perfect transition between easily understandable pixel art and the scary world of 3D interfaces. It almost looked like you could fold them because all the tiles have the same sizes. It was just cubes and cubes and cubes. I closed the program. Opened Photoshop. Made some pixel art squares and printed it on a paper. Then I folded and glued them and made this.
Something clicked when I assembled that pizza robot. The Piperoids I saw in San Francisco had been brewing in the back of my head for a long time. They got me wondering wether I could start making three-dimensional tangible things myself. I was able to make something without needing a developer, which is my greatest frustration with game making. Also I could make this with all the skills I already possessed. In 2016 I will make a whole street with robots like these. Food vendors called The O-bots. How does this relate to Mutant Gangland? Remember when I said Mutant Gangland’s current style commanded the substance? Let’s flip that.
Everything that’s awesome about Mutant Gangland’s made up universe comes from comics and toys. That’s something to consider in 2016. As part of that I want to explore the action figure realm and make Mutant Gangland action figures. That’s my resolution for 2016. For that I will have to learn 3D. Last week I started following a class at my good friends at Reptile. Next year will be full of 3D adventure. Which brings me to the last game I’ll probably do in 2D pixel art.
I did some game jamming this year and one in particular stuck out: City Crushers. a time attack game where you play a giant robot crushing cities. Made with Laurent Victorino. When the jam was over I still wanted to finish the game. In 2016 I want to make an expanded version of the game. renamed Demolitron.The reason I want to bring this out badly is because even more like Penarium this feels like a concept that came from myself rather than a large team. It’s the next logical step after Penarium. This is also the frst game in a while where I am responsible for the game design. Something I like doing even more than doing game art. Most important of all: I want to BEAT that curse of personal games not getting finished.
You might ask yourself why I don’t start learning how to code. I have been learning. I’m also terrible at it. I have some talents and programming is just not one of them. Truth is most of the time my mind is a scrambled mess. A tornado of distractions. There are some activities that manage to hypnotise me away from that tornado. Pixel art was that for me and the same counts for 3D and papercraft.
It’s been a good year for me. Having released a game that I am largely responsible for plays the big part in that and I’m proud of just finishing something for once. My resolutions for 2016 may seem silly but it signals a shift in focus. from games to toys, from 2D to 3D, from dependancy to autonomy. Mutant Gangland and O-bot figures are the most exciting projects ever right now. Something I can do all by myself. Demolitron should also see release.Of course, This is what I PLAN to do. We never really know what life will throw at us. If a nice project comes by I might jump on board. Just like that.
ATTENTION: From now on I’ll be doing regular updates about my adventures through emails. These will be more casual and personal. If you want to be on that list then enter your address below. See you in 2016!
You can get the game on Steam.
Surprise! took part in a game jam again! That’s a surprise because I didn’t see it coming. However: I’m impulsive so when someone tweeted about looking for an artist for Gameboy Jam I signed up in an instant. The good news: It became my best jam to date. The bad news: for the first time in my life I physically experienced stress from my hobby.
Gameboy Jam is where you make a game in a short amount of time with the restriction that it has to feel like a Gameboy game. For me that comes down to using only 4 shades of green to do ALL your art with. I’ve been spying on retro Gameboy projects from the shadows and I love the challenge and look of Gameboy’s small palette. It felt like a natural thing to do after making some Mutant Gangland pieces which were already low on colour. Mostly this piece.
I proposed to do something with that big robot. I scaled it down to Gameboy size and figured it would look cool as the basis for a robot customisation screen. Then Laurent (my new buddy) said he’d see the robot doing some buildings wrecking and basically that was the game’s concept. Wreck buildings with robot. get money. Tweak robot with cash and repeat. We both knew that was a bit too ambitious for a 10 day game project but that was the plan.
First we needed mockups. The Gameboy’s screen is so small that you can’t actually fit a lot of words on a single screen and that posed a problem in the customisation screen. I had to fit in buttons and words like ‘price’, ‘effect’ and ‘confirm’. It was a wreck of a puzzle and just before I figured out it was time to rush to another area. I hadn’t even got the crushing city bit designed!
For this part the robot had to be even smaller. We shrunk it to half-size and it looked like a scribbly mess. I tried rebuilding a new one from scratch. The original was designed as a walking tank but City Crushers needed more of a construction/demolition vehicle vibe. I made some doodles (no time for details!) and tried pixeling. The result was unpleasant. I went back to the old scribbly one and decided to clean it. This means removing pixels that make it look messy. Then I added giants fists to emphasise the robot’s primary function. I’m going on so long about the robot because it fills 25% of the screen.
Now for the city. This consisted of buildings you could smash and tiles for the background. The floor. I made some mockups but something was amiss: The foreground and background blended too much. I used the colours all wrong! There was too much dark in the player and building and too much light in the tiles. Noticed that glare on the floor tiles? That’s a problem. So I had to go back and recolour the sprites so the front used the 2 lightest colours and the back used the 2 darkest.
Time flies when you do a game jam and with only 2 days to go I still had to make all the animations and design the city’s floor plan. This was such a big task that we started worrying wether we’d even have time to put in the customisation part. The idea that started this jam in the first place. We just couldn’t pull it off. We dropped it. As we so often drop really cool things in order to get the boat floating.
From here on it was just a game where you could crush a city in a time limit. I worked my butt of to get the remaining work done and somehow Laurent managed to put it all in. Then came the game’s saving grace: Global highscore leaderboards. We stayed up until 3 in the night sending back and forth emails with assets. We managed to send a build before the jam’s deadline and went straight to bed. And I felt very very relieved. It wasn’t what we envisioned but it felt game-y. This also because Joonas Turner joined in to make neat music and sound effects. On his holiday!
The next day and played the game again. I liked it. I still do because the end product transcends the feeling I fantasised a week before. I often get overwhelmed by vibes when I listen to music through my headphones. It’s where I get most of my creative charges from. It’s hard to transport those vibes to another medium but City Crushers did that. Some people even played it and battled each other on the high score chart.
I have a good feeling about this jam. Not just because of the game. Also because working with Laurent went extremely well. Game jams are sometimes made to look like fun and spontaneous endeavours but I find the very hard to do right. Truth is that a lot of people don’t click well with each other when they jam. This can be rooted in personality, project approach or thinking patterns. For me the latter is the biggest factor. Ultimately I want me and my buddy to be able to finish each other’s sentences. There’s jam people that say “Let’s put a banana in there” and their buddy goed ‘Uhh yeah! So random!” but I can’t be that person because I would shout “No! Banana was NOT in the vision!”. I had to trace back our email correspondence to check who came up with what ideas and that’s a good sign. We were on the same thinking page and that’s very rare.
But then in the evening I felt a pain in my chest. Like it was very hard to breathe and when I talked it became even harder. Like you’re constantly at the end of a long sentence. After some Googling I found out it was something I never had before: stress. I probably worked too hard and it took hold of me. It was a terrible feeling and I couldn’t believe it was stress because I had a blast of a time.
Seems you can be entertained and motivated and still get crushed if you work for too long. I’ll take it as a sign to do less long nights. My sister once told me something that always stuck with me: When your generation goes past age 30 your it walks into a minefield. People around you go down. You can go down. It’s just whoever death picks and I can feel it. My small pains and ills don’t heal like they used to anymore.
The problem is that most creative people cannot feel comfortable doing nothing and never want to disappoint their peers. Joonas offered to make sound and music at the start of his holiday. Laurent worked until 03:00 while he had to wake up for work at o7:30. That’s crazy and I would’ve done exactly the same. Creative people say ‘yes’ to something in an impulse and it always ends up being more work then expected because they just won’t accept showing an ‘acceptable’ product. We want to impress and entertain people. That is a curse that will stick with us for the rest of our lives and the best we can do is damage control on how much time we spend on our work. For it will never ever be finished.
ANYWAY: You can play and vote for City Crushers to win the jam here.
DISCLAIMER: This is not all-around advice for all GDC people. It’s how I personally dealt with going to this conference as a visitor, and a relative newcomer to the industry.
I rested well before going to GDC.
Last year I prepared to a certain point, but it turned out that business cards and hotel reservations are just details. My best move this year was to get the stuff at home that I wouldn’t get at the conference and that is rest. Rest is GDC’s rarest currency. Even if you can resist the urge to relentlessly go out and socialize, there are many things that can keep you from resting, like noisy hotel neighbours or jetlag or just being freaking hyped. If you don’t get rest you get sick. The week before GDC I just slept well and didn’t do many things. It worked.
I stopped being bent on meeting people.
Even if you’re not able to rest before there are ways to save your energy. GDC is a social carousel that you’ll be compelled to jump into. Being in the same spot as “all” the game people in the world is a great opportunity. The shadow of that is that staying in your hotel room feels like a waste of that opportunity. Even if it’s to do things like showering, breakfast and napping. The pull to constantly go out and “connect” with people is strong with me but it’s a battle I can’t win. GDC is not all the fun in one place. It’s all the fun spread all over a giant city, and somehow they didn’t let you in on it. Last year that hit me so hard that I just had to give up caring about it. Once you let that go you can divide your time the way you want. It’s pretty much like Bob Marley said “You can meet some GDC people some time but you can’t meet all of them all the time”.
I gave up on social media.
Whatever feeling you have about being left out will be amplified a thousand-fold by checking up on things like Twitter. When somebody tweets that another guy owes him 50 dollars all I can think is “Okay what the hell am I missing now?”. I think putting inside jokes on an outside medium is alienating. During GDC Twitter and Facebook will be full of that shit. I stayed away from it as much as I could and used Twitter mostly as a slow chatbox for meeting with friends.
I stopped respecting people’s status.
It’s very easy to walk into people who you look up to and it can uncontrollably change the way you step into a conversation with them. People can feel that and they don’t like it. Deep down everybody longs for success and status but once you have it, it seems like everybody wants something from you and that’s hard to deal with. I had an encounter with a guy that made a hugely popular game and he seemed prickly in every interaction I had with him. I had no idea who he was but I offered him a napkin and he just frowned like I was a lepper begging for money. For this guy status was a new thing and he dealt with it by adding barbwire around himself. I can’t afford to worry about what these people think of me and I just stopped asking or finding out what they do or who they are. I don’t chase them. I don’t stare at them. I just hang out with people I have fun with and that’s it. Even famous people poop and pee and smell if they don’t shower. You get the best conversations with people if you don’t know who they are.
I started using being alone as a tool.
Conversations, new faces, new names, new topics. There’s a ton of things coming at you at a typical GDC day and you need to process all that stuff. There’s no shame in being alone and isolated once in a while. I even benefit from it. Take it as a moment to let things seep in. Take a nap. Go somewhere and have a meal by your own. Maybe take a day off and visit a part of the city to wander around. Treat yourself!
I stopped caring about parties.
For 5 days straight there are parties going on every single night. At the end afternoon “What party are you going to” is the question going around and it’s a tiring thing to be bothered with. It’s fun to have something to do but you shouldn’t overvalue these things. People will always make it look more exciting than it actually is. It’s hard to pick which party to go to as there are always many happening at once. You’ll always miss some fun somewhere. You might meet a couple of nice people but I think parties are not the best way to do that. Thanks to loud music you often have to raise your voice to make yourself heard. Dirty trick: Just go to the party when it’s about to end. It’s not a problem if you don’t have an invite. Just stand at the exit as people poor out to have smokes or snacks. By that time most of them are a bit tipsy thus more open and honest. You might get some nice chats out of it.
I stopped asking people what they do.
This is a bit of a freaky trick but it worked for me. I noticed that “So what do you do?” is a crippling question for some. It can be taken it as a status check. As if it implies you want to see if they are worthy of your time or not. It can lead to a bad start of a conversation, A moment where people think they have to hold a mini presentation about themselves. I experimented with skipping that question and going for the blunt and piercing “So what is your agenda?”. People don’t expect it but it leads to surprisingly honest answers as if it is the moment people take their mask off and become themselves. This is especially the case on the expo floor where a lot of people walk around looking for work or represent a company. I still may very well be viewed by people as a weirdo though.
And those are the cheats I used to survive GDC. All of them are related to lettings things go to preserve energy. GDC sucks up physical and emotional strength. I feel like I learned to sail through that by dropping all excess baggage, and honestly I had a good time. I met some nice people. It’s hard to measure this in actual payoff but at this rate I assume next GDC will be even better. Like in gaming. You get better at it with every try. Just make peace with the fact that you are just one person. You cannot be everywhere at once and you don’t have to. You are not alone in feeling alone.
This year I worked on Mutant Gangland and Penarium and it was awesome. It was a good year for me. The following sums it up: ￼
8: Going to GDC for the first time. I guess
Boy, was I disappointed in GDC. It’s just not what it’s cracked up to be. People on social media will have you believe it’s the most joyful thing ever with their selfies and their inside jokes but that wasn’t my experience. Every evening was super stressful because there were parties all over town and I just always felt like I was missing out. It’s like new year’s eve five nights in a row. It’s not for me. I don’t even like parties. I did meet a few nice people and it was interesting to see a new city. I guess it deserves a place on this list because of how big an experience this was. Otherwise, I couldn’t find 8 significant moments. I’m also probably going again next year. Enough for the sour stuff. The rest of the list is happy stuff. I promise. ￼
7: Getting a new console
I know this is shallow but I just love unboxing game consoles. When I was 8 and got a NES on Xmas, I freaked out, ran out of the house and went screaming on the streets. Ever since then, I try to recreate that moment. It’s never going to be that intense anymore but unboxing a new console will always be special. During previous console generations I was not very big with money and only got a game machine after it had been out for years. Somehow I always missed noticing their releases but I was extremely excited about getting a PS4. Maybe so hard that I actually tricked myself into wanting it. I wanted a new new PS4 and I got mine. That smell of new plastic is amazing. ￼
6: Realising how much experience I gained over a year
Two years ago we released Paper Vs Paper, a game you probably don’t know because we did a crappy job at promoting it. We were fresh out of school and somehow had the idea that we could put it on the app store and email people about it until it started selling. That was naive. There was a moment when we were far along with Penarium where I though “Man were we a bunch of idiots when working on Paper Vs Paper”. Somehow that cheered me up.￼
5: Putting Mutant Gangland online and actually selling units
Mutant Gangland has become a very personal project I can fill up with everything I like about action figures, Robots, Ninja turtles, and apocalypse stories. I honestly believed that when we put the game on itch.io maybe ten people would buy it but it’s a little bit more than that. I often check out the names of people and it’s not just friends of friends anymore. It’s complete strangers thinking “this might be worth my money” and that feels like a signal that we are making a proper game here. It might sound superficial but I wouldn’t know if I was equally enthusiastic about Mutant Gangland if we sold 0 copies. But we do sell and I’m super pumped to make a big release in 2015. ￼
4: The moment Penarium pieces fell into place
At one point a game is just a bunch of moving objects and at another point it’s a game, a product, an orchestra of arts that together create magic. Sometimes the transition between those moment is unclear but in the case of Penarium it was when the sound effects and music were in. Our sound man is a wizard and when we loaded the game for the first time with audio we were very very happy. There’s something awesome about trying your game for the 100th time and finally, BOOM it rocks. ￼
3: Signing a deal with a publisher
WE knew that Penarium is a fun game but we actually rang quite a few doorbells with it and it took a while before they started opening. Then we started worrying. Not because our game might be bad but because the outside world had their eyes full of shit and couldn’t see how awesome it is. Team17 was enthusiastic from the start. We felt good about them. A nice bunch and a name I look up to. For us signing with a publisher was signing a treaty that said “look, we think your game is so good that we’re actually going to spend money on it. We trust you.” Also, I can’t wait to one day come home, turn on my console and buy my own game. ￼
2: Picking up drawing again
In 2009 I took concept art seminars. The huge amount of stuff you need to learn to become an artist scared the shit out of me. I decided I did not want to be a concept artist and focused on other things. Since then my sketchbooks became less filled with drawings and more with scribbles of game mechanics. It was a shame though. I loved the idea of Penarium right away and researched circus life and aesthetics. I had trouble transporting that directly to pixels. I just couldn’t get it right in Photoshop. That’s when I discovered my sketchbook again. Countless sketches of clowns, tents, monkeys, and directors came out. Not just that but also robots, monsters, and spaceships just for the fun of it. Now the year is almost over, the book is almost full and I often look through it feeling proud as if I reclaimed something I left behind for no good reason. Welcome back, Drawing.￼
1: Pitching a game to Nintendo
I can’t believe we actually got to present our game to a number of important folks from Nintendo. I look up to Nintendo and its people. We were quite nervous. The introductions were awkward as we gave them our business cards Japanese style (bowing, two hands) and the Japanese handed theirs western style (one hand, eye contact). We presented Penarium, they played it and seemed to like it. Then there was a round for questions from our side. I asked them if there was going to be a sequel to Advance Wars. They all laughed and then there was a silence. I think that’s a “yes, secretly”. One minute later a Japanese boss read what his translator wrote and it made him chuckle. I feel like this was the man who might know more.Business-wise this meeting did not leave a lot of ripples but for me it was significant in the sense that I presented my game to freaking Nintendo! Words like ‘Nintendo’ ‘Flappy Bird’ and ‘Angry Birds’ are things family and friends understand. They know I “make games” but saying “Uncle Joe, I just came back from a meeting with Nintendo” became my way of saying “look, I’m not playing around anymore”. I’m serious. I’m playing with power now. ￼
As for next year, I look forward to seeing my first game on a shelf when I happen to walk around in a store. It would also be great to finish Mutant Gangland although making games costs a lot of time. With all that behind, look here’s a new Penarium development log.
Yup. Even after all the time I spend on making Penarium and Mutant Gangland I still have the energy to play games when I come home. How can I not? It’s fun! Here are some reviews. I’ll keep it short. I did this before. Here are part 1 and part 2.
A warm and stylish visual coat laid over a set of mechanics that somehow just not represent the game’s story in any way.
Shadow Of Mordor
Being a powerful death machine is hardly ever challenging but does invoke creative sadist planning and that’s fun.
A muddy maze of a city sucked me in and made me forget that it sadly falls short as a stealth game, But only for so long.
Assassin’s Creed; Black Flag
It’s telling that the series’ sidestep to sailing and pirating is more fun than any of the series’ trademark mechanics.
Wolfenstein New Order
Cut scenes and characters well above standards on top of a shooting game that is simple, Brutal, And effective.
Digging deeper and growing stronger is compelling enough even without its lovely setting.
An undemanding mellow stream of impulse with always something new to walk to and always some new to hear.
Sniper Elite III
Strong alert guards that see you from the corner of their eyes plus open levels make this the ultimate stealth game.
After a while the wonderful illusion of a pulsing techno world falls apart and a solid superstructure of minigames remains.
With short matches and twists at every turn this could be the card game of the future.
That was it. Also; Somewhere long ago I apparently had the time to play Fallout. Take a good look at this lifetime achievement. Yup. That’s a lot of hours. I’m amazed by how proud I am of this. Achievements really do feel like achievements to me.